I'm eating all of the evidence.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
