the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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