i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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