Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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