Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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