Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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