sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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