The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
