i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize