Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
