This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
