dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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