i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
