Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
