I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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