Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
