his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
