I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
