come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize