You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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