okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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