she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
