very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize