I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize