felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
