I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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