She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
