I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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