i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
