I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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