I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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