you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
