i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize