NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
