you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
