Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
