some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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