In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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