The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
