Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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