so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
