Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
