It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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