yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The ass gains better be worth it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
