i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think your dad took our porno
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
