How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
