all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
two words: eviction party
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
