I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I believe in your delicious
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
