I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
