Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
