The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
COCAINE IS GR8
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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