I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
