Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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