hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
