I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
