Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
