Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
