seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
